so okay i have been doing a fair amount of thinking re: sexual orientation / gender (????????? hoW) in the past few weeks and haven’t really come to any conclusions (are conclusions rly a thing you can come to about this, though)
although. i’ve admitted to myself (and also! come to embrace! because ‘admitted’ makes it sound like a negative thing which really it isn’t) that i find the female body attractive
which is kind of a big thing for me. i mean, i have a very clear memory of being about fourteen and thinking as i walked down the hall of my high school, ‘i can’t be a lesbian; i don’t want to go to hell.’ and then spending a fairly large portion of the next ten years violently suppressing anything that might even slightly be considered non-heterosexual
and letting go of that is a little overwhelming. but also. really nice.
(the more i reread this the more trivial it sounds but. i grew up in a really conservative environment and this is. difficult for me? idk, it took me a few years after i realized ‘hey homosexuality isn’t actually a sin, it is FINE, it is a PART OF HUMANITY’ to figure out that that also. applied to me on a personal level.)